You work out of a Hotel?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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