he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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