go do what you do best...puke behind churches
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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