it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
