i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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