Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
