I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
