Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
