cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My liver just had a heart attack.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
