I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
