There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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