im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
