on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
