At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
