Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
