I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
