dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
