Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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