Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize