I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
