worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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