Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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