I'll bet she douches with gravy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
