i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
