Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
