Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
