One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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