Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
