I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize