i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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