They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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