i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize