Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
