Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
