I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
