Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize