that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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