So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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