there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
