I'm drive I can fine osifer
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
