the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My life is pants optional.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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