my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
