is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize