i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
