when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
