WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
