sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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