Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize