I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
These tits shall not be calmed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
