i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize