ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
