all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize