Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
