It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
this hospital has no fireball
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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