I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
