i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
