You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
