Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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