YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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