i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
