He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
