were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
