Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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