My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Randomize
