I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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