went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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