I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
