you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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