i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
