As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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