hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
