all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
