Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
