I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
