WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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