A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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