And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
