Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
