so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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